1. When one does not have enough balance to call everyone in Tamilnadu, one shall make one call to one's sister and just tell her that one has got a girlfriend. Rest assured, the whole TN will call one within the next 20 minutes.
2. When some Irani girls move-in to the apartment opposite to one's home, one shall buy binoculars prompto. (for one's pervert roommates, that is)
3. The weighing machines at Pune railway station adds 5Kg. One shall not panic!
4. Emma Watson(Hermione) is a teenager and it is ok for one to have a bruning desire when she walks down the stairs.
5. Thou shalt not watch Momento thy backwards.
6. Physiotherapy is a painful process. Even more painful, if one has to fake one's tolerance level and act more manly because one's physiotherapist happen to be a charming lady.
7. One has to like Marvin's words, "I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed." when one was as depressed as me was, after reading it.
8. Does one know why mosquitoes come near one's ears and make that annoying buzzing sound while one is asleep? Actually, because they are near one's ears that one is able to hear the mosquitoes buzzing. They make that buzzing sound all the time.
9. When Micha Barton is delivering the chinese food one ordered, in skimpy clothes, one should realise that one is dreaming.

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1. If one gets attracted to a girl, then one should ignore her. Until she notices that one is ignoring her.
2. Or until one gets her wedding invitation :(
3. A turtle neck t-shirt would make a good useful gift for a newly wed couple. Why? To avoid embarrassing question about seems-like-lesions on the neck ;)
4. Soduko might be the most hyped game you have never heard of. Close to Solitare & Minesweeper.
5. Long hair does not go with a bald boss at work.
6. One is only as good as one's last blog post.
7. Watching a movie at 2PM in the night when one has an early meeting in the morning, just because the movie has Elisha Cuthbert in it, is very justified.
8. One won't be far from home when one realises that the world is flat.
9. When one fails to woo any girl, and had woken to the unescapable truth that one's will be a nice little arranged love story, one bribes one's mom by buying her sarees.
10. Centre fresh and Center shock are different bubble gums.

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Before i forget - This is still not S m i t h a posting.

Ganguly's been dropped, i read in today's Times. I can imagine a very old Ganguly in a basement holding a yellowish crumpled copy of today's paper and another paper reading that his grandson Nagrav Ganguly has been selected for the Indian cricket team.
Times has always been a source of misery for me. One fine morning, i opened the papers with a hot cup of coffee in my hands and it read "An average Indian loses his/her virginity at the age of 20"... i almost spilled the coffee all over myself.. can it get any depressing than that? But the comic strips and the cleavages keeps me paying the paper bill.

About the whereabouts of my alter ego, i found S m i t h a before the police did (and its a good thing actually), and here goes what happened next...
Me: hey, you know i was getting worried? where were you all this time?
AlterEgo: you know where i was.. dont pretend.. why did you reject the last two stories i came up with?
Me: ok let me explain.. those stories were either too sad or hopelessly depressing.
AE: what about that science fiction?
Me: you know the rules, "No tragedies allowed in pichuva". and you destroyed earth in that story!
Ae: you should know better, the author's mood gets reflected in what gets written
Me: hmmm.. ok, what to hear a non-veg-joke to get your spirits up?
Ae: get out of here, you dumb arse! i dont care about readers..
..and i had to run away from there for dear life. So until something really cheerful happens (for e.g., "i got aid for MS", "boss got laid off", "i got laid") im afraid i can't do anything.

Random thought#1
Until last year, one could tell, "and pigs could fly", "and donkeys could sing", "and a tsunami stuck chennai", "and it rained in trichy" in the same breath. Now all that had gone for a toss. You might argue that nobody ever says "and it rained in trichy".. i agree.. but i like to keep my options open, if you know what i mean.

Random thought#2
Pune's contribution to the world: Wada Pav and load of beautiful college girls!
Pune's contribution to Maths: Definition of infinity - Number of potholes on any stretch >20 meter of road.

Wow! Me just realised that a New year is coming! Two thousand six, no less!! Which reminds me of the 2005's new year party, when we shot cheap tequilas with Lays potota chips. The point on how much we were drunk is very debatable but the fact that We managed to burn the rice we were cooking should give you some idea. The smoke detector started blarring, as people forgot about the fire and diverted their attention on stopping the alarm. Finally i had to step in, recollecting how Pheobe handles a similar situation in Friends, and gave the smoke detector a right and then a left.. kick! It stopped blarring and even now if you go to apartment 6919-D, carlton Arms Drive, Indianapolis you'll notice all but one smoke detector not working.

Did i mention -on serious contemplation i realised- that early next year would be a nice time to shift southwards. Yeah, don't act surprised when i forward my resume and ask for a referral. Damn, i propably shouldn't be saying these things on a public forum like this.. what if my boss googles for my name and lands here? Ok, from here no use of my real name. (Note to self: Remove the picture on the profile... but just in case any hot single girl out there wanted my picture, you could google for images of Brad Pitt, Mel Gibson, Johnny Depp, Vin Diesel and use the "complex virtual JPEG interimposing de-glare anti-noise multi-layer image editing algorithm" to fuse all the images together and presto, you'll have what you wanted)

So, there you go people, a not-so-neat-random-non-associative-700-words post. Im proud of myself... on retrospect, i need S m i t h a back right? Don't worry, im working on it.

Labels: Indulgent me

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Ok, S m i t h a, my alter ego has gone missing. I've lodged a FIR and you know how Indian policewalas work. So until then...

Got tagged by ramses
10 yrs ago
10th standard - must have been busy studying for the exams or busy trying to impress my school crush. yeah.. its the latter, im sure.
anyways ended up as the school topper and all, but failed in the chota sa love story
was always fighting with my brother and sister: both being younger, i could exercise loads of bullyism

5 yrs ago
sophomore - having sorted out my priorities, where sleep comes first and studies comes last, with movies, novels, computergames, bird watching and writing code sprinkled in between, it was party time always
another crush got crushed - she fell in love with another guy :(
but managed to write a master-minion-trojan in C and called the program lover.c

last year
work - was awarded exceptional new comer. was in the USA for 6 months. found out that the girl i was in love with was already married :( i took all of the above with equal enthusiasm
decided to start a blog and after a few corny posts about my life, decided to cut the musings and write short stories
met some wonderful people through the blog and been friends thence
got myself a Sony cybershot and tried my hand at photography too

yesterday
brought my mom sarees for the first time
finished reading "The Tipping point"
decided not to cut my hair and sport a Harry Potter cut

5 yummy things
Elisha Cuthbert
rain dance
Mom's kadai chicken
Skyline 4-way chilli
Uno's chicken-wild mushroom pizza

5 things i know by heart
most tamil song lyrics
most english movie scripts
don't develop crush on beautiful women, they are so depressing bcos they are so unattainable
genius is as genius does
im no genius

5 things i'd do if i had a lot more money
quit this job and aim for a Ph.D
will buy a window screen and gift it to the poor Irani girls living opposite my apartment
buy movies
buy books
and after gaining some experience, produce and direct a movie :)

5 places i escape to
my creative self
silence
sleep
books
a phone call to my mom/sis/bro/friends

5 things i'd never wear
a sad face
a dhoti without a belt
an open shirt before i get back my abs
any formal wear unless it is fatally compulsory
lipstick: the one from kissing not accountable eh?

5 favourite tv shows
Friends
Coupling (Star World - sat & sunday 2 PM)
Will and Grace
Extreme engineering on Discovery
Bikini destinations, Late night show or anything on F-Tv ;)

5 things i enjoy doing
bird watching ;) anywhere/anytime
sleeping when i've to be at work
reading all night
watching tv with no one to take the remote away
writing code

people i'd like to tag
curses
Kathak
Danny
Sujit

feel free to ignore me, if u r not interested

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